Struggling to Care About Heterosexual Romance: a chronicle of watching mainstream movies with straight people
When Strangers Click, a 2011 documentary about online dating.
It reminds me of that famous Margaret Atwood quote: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” It also reminds me of something written by one of the mods of Sex Worker Problems: “Misandry irritates. Misogyny kills.”
I mean, it’s just true.
“Misandry irritates. Misogyny kills.”
That’s it. That’s it right there.
I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.
..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.
“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”
I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..
..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.
In all seriousness Idris Elba as the 12th Doctor would be a great casting choice because he’d kill it and we’d get to find out just exactly how many anglophiles are also gigantic racists
So, I know this Onion article is trying to be cheeky and funny, but it does something that I see quite often — the diminishment and dismissal of something because it is important to/created by/maintained by someone both young and female.
You’ll notice the article doesn’t discuss the blogs of teenage boys (and those are rarely mentioned in other commentaries on and about tumblr). So, I think it says and shows something far more insidious about OUR culture. It says that young girls (and women, by extension) have no worth.
That’s not only sad, it’s dangerous.
This post isn’t meant to knock on The Onion — we all know what it does.
It just struck me as something that is thrown out there by many (and not just in speaking of tumblr). Think about what you are saying and its implications.
Speech has power.
It’s a new form of “Men write about ideas and women write about their lives” which is something I heard as everything from a “why you should stop writing” to a breakup line when I was writing a lot of memoir-style content on the Internet in the 90s.
One of the things we talked about at Girls Write now was Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra. I got the impression most of the girls in the room had never seen that episode of ST:TNG, but I used it to illustrate the importance of story as a way of communicating non-fictional and even non-narrative culture and ideas.
What we do as fans (regardless of gender) and what we are dismissed as doing because it’s supposedly-female is this incredibly cool, complicated thing where we’re able to move back and forth across the concrete and the abstract to delineate, criticize, and explode our world. It’s really cool.
TL;DR: Tumblr content matters, not in spite of who’s creating it, but because of who is creating it and how.